The link between ADHD and giftedness is often misunderstood. Many people with a high IQ can compensate for attention challenges for years, masking their struggles behind achievement and quick thinking. But beneath the surface, the combination of exceptional intelligence and ADHD can create deep frustration, emotional exhaustion, and a longing to be understood.
“You’re so clever. You’ll go far.”
I grew up hearing that phrase again and again.
And in many ways, it was true. I absorbed information quickly, thrived in class discussions, and relied on a sharp memory to carry me through when focus failed. From the outside, I looked like I had everything together – bright, capable, and full of potential.
But behind the “clever girl” label and the Mensa-level IQ, life felt very different.
The Hidden Struggles
What many people didn’t see was the chaos beneath the surface – the endless cycle of procrastination, then hours spent staring at open books, unable to take in the information, or write anything down, because I had no interest in the subject matter.
Academically, I appeared successful, often relying on memory rather than preparation. Despite how it looked, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was “lazy” and “undeserving”.
The self-criticism was constant and emotionally exhausting. Yet I wasn’t lazy or unmotivated – I had ADHD. I just didn’t know it yet.
Hyperfocus: The Gift and the Trap
One of the most confusing experiences was hyperfocus – those moments of complete absorption in something that fascinated me. When that happened, I could lose all sense of time and produce work that looked effortless.
I’ve always experienced huge pleasure when my mind is allowed to fly, rather than being forced to walk at a more acceptable pace for everyone around me.
Only later did I discover that hyperfocus isn’t about discipline or drive. It’s part of the ADHD experience, a brain swinging between total immersion and complete disengagement. When interested, I could soar. When not, no amount of willpower could lift me.
Research shows that this dual nature of giftedness and ADHD is both common and misunderstood (Healthline).
Understanding that changed everything. It reframed years of inconsistency – I no longer saw it as a flaw, but as a neurological pattern.
The Curse of Being “Capable”
On the surface, having a high IQ softened the impact of ADHD. From a young age, I discovered strategies to adapt and sometimes excel in systems not built for my brain, and this continued into working life as an adult.
But that camouflage came at a cost.
Because I looked capable, my difficulties stayed invisible. People saw performance, not the price I paid to maintain it. In reality, every success carried an unseen toll of exhaustion, anxiety, and self-doubt.
Rather than being a solution to ADHD, my intelligence was a disguise.
Studies suggest that, in adults with high intellectual ability, ADHD symptoms are often under-recognised or compensated for (PubMed).
Seeing with Compassion
Now, I look back with far more kindness. I wasn’t broken – I was navigating life in a world that didn’t understand how my brain worked.
High IQ was both a blessing and a curse:
- A blessing, because it helped me adapt, find creative ways through, and achieve despite the odds.
- A curse, because it delayed understanding and support – the mask was too convincing.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too smart to have ADHD”, or if your achievements have been used to dismiss your struggles, please hear this:
You don’t have to earn the right to be seen.
Success doesn’t erase struggle. Both can exist together – and both deserve compassion.
Sometimes, the very thing that helps us shine is also what keeps us hidden.
Reflective Prompt
Where in your life have you worn a mask of capability – managing, performing, coping – while privately carrying more than others realised?
What would it mean to take that mask off, even a little?
Pause for a moment, breathe, and consider this:
Your challenges don’t diminish your worth – they reveal your resilience.
From Awareness to Alignment
Understanding how your brain works is only the beginning. The next step is aligning your life, habits, and goals with your authentic strengths, values, and energy patterns.
That’s what values-based coaching is all about – creating space to rediscover who you are beneath the labels, expectations, and noise.
If you’re ready to move from self-criticism to self-understanding, and from masking to meaning, I’d love to help.
Book a free discovery call to explore values-based coaching and begin aligning your life with who you truly are.
