Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re faced with a decision that seems easy for the people around you, but you’re finding it’s not so straightforward? Rather than go with the flow, you catch yourself asking, “What really matters here?”
This is an example of what can happen when you find yourself connecting with your values. It’s simple, but it’s also powerful, because it’s this connection that can give you the strength to stand up for what is right for you, rather than those around you.
Values are like the invisible threads that run through our lives. They’re the beliefs and principles that shape how we think, how we treat others – and, ultimately, how we live. You might not always think about them, but they’re there, guiding you, especially in the moments that matter most.
A True Story: Malala’s Courage
One of the most inspiring examples of living by values is Malala Yousafzai’s story. Growing up in Pakistan, Malala believed deeply in the value of education – especially for girls, in a society where many were discouraged or even forbidden from going to school.
When extremists tried to silence her, Malala chose not to back down. She spoke out, even when it meant putting herself at risk. In 2012, she was attacked for standing up for her values – but she survived and grew even stronger. Today, Malala is a global advocate for education and the youngest-ever recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.
gratispng.com, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons and DFID – UK Department for International Development, CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Her story reminds us that values aren’t just words we talk about – they’re principles worth standing for, even when it’s costly.
To celebrate World Values Day on 16th October 2025, I’ll be regularly posting examples of values in action in the coming weeks, so keep checking back or follow me for updates on social media.
Why Do Values Matter So Much?
1. They Help Us Make Choices We Can Live With
Life is full of choices, big and small. And while not every decision feels life-changing, each one builds on the other. Your values act like a compass. For example, if kindness is one of your core values, you’re more likely to choose patience over irritation when dealing with a difficult person. That’s not always easy – but it’s consistent with who you are.
When I’ve got a difficult decision to make, and the rest of the world is encouraging me to turn away from my values, I remind myself that there could be a high price to pay if I go against what truly matters to me. In the end, I have to look myself in the mirror and know that I did the right thing – or at least what is right for me – even if others disagree with my choice or action. Unless there’s a very good reason (e.g., to protect someone else), experience has shown me that acting against my values tends to lead to regret and could be the difference between a life that is merely okay and a life I would truly love.
2. They Shape Our Relationships
When somebody lives by their values, they are consistent. They may not be perfect, but they stand by what they believe, and the people around them start to rely on that – they begin to feel a sense of trust.
When values are shared between people with common goals, it becomes possible to create lasting bonds that will survive life’s challenges. I’m not just referring to romantic relationships here; it’s equally relevant to working relationships and friendships.
3. They Give Us Strength When Life Gets Messy
Let’s be real: life doesn’t always go according to plan – and I’ve probably dedicated more time to Plan Bs than most! But when things get chaotic and veer off course, my values provide me with a sense of stability. In fact, when I’m feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn, I find it’s more important than ever to remind myself who I am and what I stand for. If I do this, I’m often more able to see what my next step needs to be.
As a general example, if your values include principles like hope, faith, or courage, you may find that storms become opportunities for growth.
4. They Connect Us to Something Bigger
Values aren’t just personal – they tend to ripple outward. When we share values with others, we create communities and cultures that reflect them. Think about movements for justice, fairness, or equality. All of these things start with values, when people who share values come together and decide that something matters enough to stand for it.
Living By Your Values
And now it gets a bit tricky… You see, knowing your values is one thing, but living by them takes effort. Sometimes it means making the harder choice. Sometimes it means swimming against the current. However, when your actions align with your beliefs, life feels more meaningful and less scattered.
A simple way to start is by asking yourself:
- What values matter most to me right now?
- Am I actually living them out each day?
- What small step could I take to bring my life more in line with them?
As a Values Coach, it’s essential to recognise that not every client will be in a position to make sudden changes to their lives so that they can live by their values. There may be obstacles in the way that seem insurmountable. But… once values are identified, you can make choices that take you a little bit closer to living your life authentically. So you get there in the end, even if it takes more time than you would like.
Final Thought
Values are so much more than nice words or ideas. They can serve as an anchor in the midst of uncertainty, a bridge to meaningful relationships, and a compass for decision-making. The clearer we are about our values – and the braver we are in living by them – the more grounded, purposeful, and connected our lives become.
What’s Next?
If you want to identify your core values and move toward a life of meaning and purpose, click here to learn more about values-based coaching with me. Or, if that doesn’t feel like the best next step for you right now, you can download my free guide to ‘Making Tough Decisions using your Core Values’.
