This reflection explores what self-care truly means, grounded in my experience of burnout. Burnout often stems not just from workload but from uncertainty, anxiety, and ignoring our bodies’ early signs -especially for those with ADHD. We encourage self-care in others, yet can find it difficult to practise ourselves.
Ignoring The Warning Signs
I can’t count the number of times I’ve told friends or clients: “Remember to rest – you can’t help anyone else if you’re not in good shape yourself.” And yet, for a long time, I didn’t listen to my own advice.
My burnout didn’t come from workload alone. I knew I could cope with the tasks in front of me. What wore me down was months of uncertainty, combined with ADHD-related anxiety for which I couldn’t seem to get adequate support. I kept going anyway, mustering up all the hyperfocus I could manage in order to push through exhaustion, ignoring the warning signs my body was sending.
Eventually, I could have taken a couple of weeks off – or even sick leave – but I didn’t. Instead, I kept going, relying on snacks to stay awake and living continually on the brink of panic. I found it difficult to take a calm breath as my body struggled under the strain. Yet I still refused to pay attention.
A Powerful Lesson
The irony isn’t lost on me. I encourage others to listen to their bodies, to slow down, to step back before burnout hits. Yet I didn’t do this myself. When I eventually slowed down, it took several months, a lot of soul-searching, and an amazing support network that appeared at just the right time, before I began to recover.
That was a big lesson. Now I notice signs much sooner. Even though it still feels strange, I can ask for help when I need it, instead of feeling like I should handle everything myself.
I’ve learned that self-care isn’t always about doing things for yourself. Sometimes, self-care looks like getting someone else to do things for you. This was particularly difficult to get used to for those tasks that, under normal circumstances, I could do myself (and often with ease). But self-care is about dealing with what is real, rather than what you think should happen.
Caring for myself now feels less like indulgence and more like living with integrity.
Reflection Prompts
You can use these questions to increase self-awareness:
- What signals does my body give me when I’m nearing my limits, and how do I usually respond?
- Where might I be telling myself I should cope, rather than asking what I actually need?
- Do I allow myself the same compassion and flexibility I offer to others?
Action step
Pick one kind of self-care you often mention to others and try it yourself this week. That could mean resting, asking for help, putting off something not urgent, or letting go of the need to show you can do it all.
Closing thought
When you walk your talk in self-care, you protect your own wellbeing and show others it’s okay to do the same.
If you often advise others to practise self-care but find it challenging yourself, coaching can help. Why not book a free 30-minute discovery call with me? In the call, we’ll discuss your challenges and identify practical next steps.
Further Reading
If you’d like to explore these ideas in more depth, the following resources offer thoughtful, evidence-informed perspectives on burnout, ADHD, and listening to your body:
- ADDitude Magazine – Accessible, practical articles on ADHD burnout, emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and sustainable self-care strategies.
https://www.additudemag.com
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – Explores how prolonged stress and overwhelm are held in the body when early warning signs are ignored.
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/313/313518/the-body-keeps-the-score/9780141978611.html
- Self-Compassion Institute with Dr Kristin Neff – Research and resources on self-compassion, releasing unhelpful “shoulds,” and asking for help without shame.
https://self-compassion.org
