ADHD strategies are often talked about as though there’s a single “right” answer. Like there’s a perfect system that, once discovered, will suddenly make life easier. In reality, however, strategies are deeply personal. What works brilliantly for one person may not work for another, and what helps one day may completely fall apart the next. Understanding why that happens can reduce shame, increase self-awareness, and help us build support systems that fit our brains, our environments, and our real lives.
One of the most common things people come to me for, especially those with ADHD or other forms of neurodivergence, is this:
“Can you tell me what strategies work?”
And it makes perfect sense.
When life feels hard, when you’re overwhelmed, when you’re tired of struggling with things that seem to come easily to everyone else, you want answers. You want the shortcut or the list. You want to know what worked for someone else, because maybe… finally… something will work for you too.
Unfortunately, it’s not quite so straightforward in reality. Even though I could offer strategies straight away, I almost never start there. This is because, before we can talk about strategies, we need to ask a bigger question:
What do we actually mean by a strategy?
Strategy Isn’t Just an ADHD Thing
The word “strategy” often gets framed as something only neurodivergent people need.
It’s as if ADHDers are the ones who require special hacks to survive everyday life, and I know that I sometimes feel like that’s the case. However, the truth is that everyone uses strategies. All of us.
For example:
- People put their keys in the same place every day
- We write lists and set alarms
- Many of us rely heavily on routines
- We avoid certain situations because we know they drain us, and create systems that help life run more smoothly
That’s strategy. It’s not a sign that something is wrong with you; it’s simply a human response to complexity. A strategy is just a way of making life easier, clearer and more manageable.
So instead of asking:
“Do I need strategies because I have ADHD?”
a better question could be:
“What strategies help me live well?”
The Problem With Borrowing Someone Else’s Strategy
People often ask:
“What worked for your other clients?”
And I understand the hope behind that question, but there’s a risk hidden inside it. You see, a strategy that works brilliantly for one person might fail completely for another. Not because either person is doing it wrong, but because strategies are personal rather than universal.
They depend on your brain and your environment, your history and your values, your needs, sensory preferences, emotional triggers and life circumstances.
This means that, if we jump straight into copying someone else’s tools, we can end up feeling worse:
“I tried it. It didn’t work. What’s wrong with me?”
There’s nothing wrong with you; it just wasn’t your strategy.
When a Strategy Works… Until It Doesn’t
There’s something else that’s especially important to say when we talk about ADHD strategies.
For many people with ADHD, the challenge isn’t just finding a strategy that works; it’s that what works brilliantly one day might not work at all the next.
You finally discover something that helps. It might be a routine, a system, a reminder or method that feels like a real breakthrough. For a while, it’s a huge relief. You think: This is it! I’ve cracked it!
And then, suddenly, it stops working.
Maybe your brain resists it, or you forget it exists. Or it feels impossible to do the very thing that helped yesterday.
This is one of the most misunderstood parts of ADHD, and it’s where so much unnecessary shame creeps in. When strategies appear to fail, it’s easy to start thinking:
- ”Why can’t I stick to anything?”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “I was doing so well. Why have I fallen apart again?”
But the truth is that this isn’t a personal failure. It’s often the nature of an ADHD brain.
Interest, novelty, energy, hormones, stress levels, sensory load, and life demands can all affect what your brain can access on any given day.
So strategy isn’t about finding the magic answer once and for all; it’s more about building a flexible relationship with support.
If we understand that strategies can be seasonal, temporary, and changeable, the shame reduces.
Instead of thinking:
“Why doesn’t this work anymore?”
We can ask:
“What does my brain need today?”
And that shift is powerful, because it allows you to find a strategy that works for now, rather than judging yourself for not appearing to be the same person you were yesterday.
My Labelled Box Strategy (and What It Really Means)
Here’s a simple example from my own life.
One of my strategies is that everything needs to be in a labelled box. Now, from the outside, someone might look at that and assume:
“Oh, that’s an autistic trait.” And maybe it is.
Or:
“She’s needs everything neat and tidy.”
But that isn’t the full story for me.
Clearing clutter clears my mind, but it’s actually not disorder that upsets me. It’s not even chaos. What I find so hard about chaos is that I can’t find things, and then I get distressed.
Because when I can’t find something, my brain does what ADHD brains often do. I either panic, and assume it’s gone forever, or I get angry with myself that I’ve been stupid enough to lose yet another thing I need. I then buy another one and end up with too many things. And when the clutter grows, it’s even more difficult to find things, and the overwhelm increases.
For me, the labelled boxes aren’t about being tidy; they are about reducing anxiety, preventing spirals, and protecting me from the consequences of “out of sight, out of mind”.
So my labelled box strategy is simply a logical response to a specific need.
When Strategies Are Really About Making You Look More “Normal”
There’s another layer to this conversation that I think matters a lot.
Because often, when people suggest strategies to neurodivergent people, what they really mean is:
“What do you need to be more neurotypical?”
And this can be subtle. It might sound like:
- “Just use a planner like everyone else.”
- “You need to be more organised.”
- “Have you tried doing it the normal way?”
- “If you just tried harder, you’d manage.”
On the surface, these suggestions can seem helpful. Even logical. Underneath, though, the message can be painful:
“If you just used the right strategy, you wouldn’t be like this.”
And that reinforces the idea that something is wrong with you.
To this day, I find myself getting hurt by these ‘helpful’ suggestions, because I’ve had a lifetime of shame because I can’t do the simple things. Despite that, I don’t believe there’s something with me, or with others who have ADHD. It’s not a character flaw, or a problem to be fixed.
What’s often wrong isn’t the person. It’s the environment, the expectations, or the systems that were never designed with different brains in mind.
So sometimes strategy isn’t about changing yourself at all.
Sometimes, strategy is about changing what’s around you.
Strategy Can Be Environmental, Not Personal
This is where coaching becomes much more than productivity tips.
Because strategy isn’t always:
“What should you do differently?”
Sometimes it’s:
- What needs to be adjusted, or removed?
- What support would make this easier?
- If the world was willing to bend a little (instead of you having to), what might work?
For an ADHDer, a strategy might be:
- reducing noise
- simplifying systems
- having fewer steps
- creating visual reminders
- sharing tasks differently
- designing life in a way that fits
Not forcing yourself into a shape you were never meant to be.
A good strategy doesn’t feel like masking; it can feel like relief and/or alignment.
The aim is to meet your needs with dignity, rather than keep trying to live up to someone else’s version of “normal.”
Strategy Is About the Need Beneath the Behaviour
Coaching doesn’t start with:
“Here’s what you should do.”
It starts with:
“What’s actually going on underneath?”
This is important because two people might do the exact same thing for completely different reasons.
One person needs order because chaos is sensory overload. Another person needs labels because their working memory can’t track objects. One person uses routines because they thrive on structure. Another uses routines because decision-making exhausts them.
It’s the same strategy, but it meets a different need. And that difference matters.
Coaching Helps You Build Strategies That Belong to You
For me, the most powerful coaching isn’t about handing you someone else’s toolbox; it’s about helping you discover your own.
Together, we explore questions like:
- What is the real problem here?
- What triggers stress or shutdown?
- What do you need more of?
- What do you need less of?
- What does “working” actually look like for you?
- What kind of support feels sustainable?
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s to find a strategy that fits your life, rather than fights it.
The Most Helpful Strategy Is the One That Makes Sense for You
When someone asks me for strategies, what I really hear is:
“I want life to feel less hard.”
And that’s a deeply human desire.
However, the answer isn’t a one-size-fits-all list. The answer is curiosity, compassion, experimentation, and learning what helps you meet your needs with less noise, less distress, and more ease.
That’s what strategy is. It’s not a trick or a hack. It’s a bridge from struggle to support.
Remember, strategy isn’t about becoming more acceptable. It’s about becoming more supported. The more we understand what our brains are asking for (e.g., clarity, ease, structure, simplicity, autonomy), the more we can stop chasing other people’s solutions and start creating our own.
Want Help Finding Your Own Strategies?
If you’re navigating ADHD, overwhelm, a life transition, or simply the sense that things shouldn’t be this difficult, I’d love to help.
My coaching is values-based and neuroaffirming, focused on helping you build a life that works with your brain, and not against it. Book a free 30-minute discovery call if you’d like to explore that together.
